Search
  • Robert John Andrews

Poems: Religious Dim Sums



For Pastors:

If pastors wish to establish credibility

It takes at least four years of stability


Pastors: working for the institution

Instead of God is prostitution


Good advice for rookie pastors newly christened,

Is to shut up for a year and really listen


Right answers aren’t as fun or as worthwhile

Than asking right questions free from guile


Staying fewer than seven years

Puts a church’s investment in arrears


You say you don’t take it personally,

Like hell you don’t, quite terminally


If you are worried about losing your position

You’re in the wrong business and forgot your mission


Never get caught in a corner

If so, you’re a goner


Altars, Bibles, crosses, sanctuaries – merely things

What alone is sacred are people, says the King of Kings


Personally, I learnt more about being a preacher

By selling paint and being a school teacher


If talking about God begins to weary you

Try talking with God in order to pull through


Fighting negatives with negatives is for fools

Fighting negatives with positives is the only rule


“Pastor, you have such a lovely church,” they say

“Yes they are,” is the better answer to convey


It is far easier to preach about the ‘what’ they know

Preaching ‘how’ is when scripture begins to glow


Be ready cherished presumptions to discard

Faith is more about discovering what is hard


Most of your parishioners really do

Work harder than you


When you’re a pastor a church serving

There is no day off, the call unswerving


You may think you are in charge

But that’s a mistake very large


We remain at the bottom of the pile

Equipping them in the midst of life’s trials


Screw those damn church squabbles and conflicts

Take care of the children instead of church politics


Yes, they’ll forgive the lousy sermon very quick

But not if you fail to visit the hospital when they are sick


You can use all those schedule planners indeed

But your calendar is determined by people’s needs


Do you really suppose over there the grass is greener and purer;

Never found a holy church yet when God is the final juror


The pastor who fails to read

Might as well concede


Running around trying to make happy my parish

I couldn’t care less because it is an effort nightmarish

It says more about your emptiness and need

Sadly, if that is your focus, you’ll never succeed


A pastor who doesn’t know how to wait

Will never get the calling straight


The pastor who thinks he or she is good at everything

Is likely to end up accomplishing nothing


Trust who you are

You’ll do better by far


Tolerance surely isn’t enough

God’s love demands tougher stuff

Even mere love isn’t enough

God’s justice-love can be rough


Since when is ordination a right?

When the call comes, the smarter take flight


Don’t get so full of yourself or puffed up neither

You probably weren’t God’s first choice either

But don’t fret, worry, or turn all grumpily

Given Peter and Paul you’re in good company


If you’re encountering at least five persons a day

You’re getting close to following he who said I am the way


Christians be warned: it really is a terrible confusion

Equating church and the institution is a bad delusion


The old pastor warned me most cautious

Never keep a couch in your office


40 views
  • Facebook Clean Grey
  • Twitter Clean Grey
  • LinkedIn Clean Grey

Created with Wix.com