Robert John Andrews
Poems: Religious Dim Sums

Religious Dim Sums
Some are prone to say the Holy Land
is over there in Israel, Galilee and Bethlehem.
Except for what happened beforehand,
what’s so special about Jerusalem?
Seems to me what becomes truly sacred
is not determined by what is historical,
but rather when hatred and fear are negated,
and wherever faith, hope, and love are practical.
For Pastors:
If pastors wish to establish credibility
It takes at least four years of stability
Pastors: working for the institution
Instead of God is prostitution
Good advice for rookie pastors newly christened,
Is to shut up for a year and really listen
Right answers aren’t as fun or as worthwhile
Than asking right questions free from guile
Staying fewer than seven years
Puts a church’s investment in arrears
You say you don’t take it personally,
Like hell you don’t, quite terminally
If you are worried about losing your position
You’re in the wrong business and forgot your mission
Never get caught in a corner
If so, you’re a goner
Altars, Bibles, crosses, sanctuaries – merely things
What alone is sacred are people, says the King of Kings
Personally, I learnt more about being a preacher
By selling paint and being a school teacher
If talking about God begins to weary you
Try talking with God in order to pull through
Fighting negatives with negatives is for fools
Fighting negatives with positives is the only rule
“Pastor, you have such a lovely church,” they say
“Yes they are,” is the better answer to convey
It is far easier to preach about the ‘what’ they know
Preaching ‘how’ is when scripture begins to glow
Be ready cherished presumptions to discard
Faith is more about discovering what is hard
Most of your parishioners really do
Work harder than you
When you’re a pastor a church serving
There is no day off, the call unswerving
You may think you are in charge
But that’s a mistake very large
We remain at the bottom of the pile
Equipping them in the midst of life’s trials
Screw those damn church squabbles and conflicts
Take care of the children instead of church politics
Yes, they’ll forgive the lousy sermon very quick
But not if you fail to visit the hospital when they are sick
You can use all those schedule planners indeed
But your calendar is determined by people’s needs
Do you really suppose over there the grass is greener and purer;
Never found a holy church yet when God is the final juror
The pastor who fails to read
Might as well concede
Running around trying to make happy my parish
I couldn’t care less because it is an effort nightmarish
It says more about your emptiness and need
Sadly, if that is your focus, you’ll never succeed
A pastor who doesn’t know how to wait
Will never get the calling straight
The pastor who thinks he or she is good at everything
Is likely to end up accomplishing nothing
Trust who you are
You’ll do better by far
Tolerance surely isn’t enough
God’s love demands tougher stuff
Even mere love isn’t enough
God’s justice-love can be rough
Since when is ordination a right?
When the call comes, the smarter take flight
Don’t get so full of yourself or puffed up neither
You probably weren’t God’s first choice either
But don’t fret, worry, or turn all grumpily
Given Peter and Paul you’re in good company
If you’re encountering at least five persons a day
You’re getting close to following he who said I am the way
Christians be warned: it really is a terrible confusion
Equating church and the institution is a bad delusion
The old pastor warned me most cautious
Never keep a couch in your office